Dear Aubrey Addams (or Aubrey Adams). It is with deep regret that I inform you that I have been jerking off to you through your 160 plus film career and have no more cum left. You have completely drained my balls for the past 3 years with your petite 4’10 figure, pillow-soft pouty lips, and the energy of a blonde Duracell Playboy bunny. If you didn’t drop out of fashion school in New Jersey, who would of helped me leak my love larvae through “Face Fucking Inc. 4″ (with Nikki Hillton and Gianna Michaels) or “Innocent Until Proven Filthy 3″? In January 2006, you met John the Stutterer from The Howard Stern Show, and your first porn scene in Blue Light Films’ “Here Cums John Volume 1″ introduced you to the world and my penis. Not for a second did it bother me that you replaced your natural A-cup tits with larger, silicone implants – the more of you, the better! Your hardcore cock-sucking abilities are unparalleled. Your pussy, sculpted by the hands of Michelangelo. And with multiple award nominations such as the 2006 XRCO Award for Cream Dream and New Starlet, in addition to your 2009 AVN Award nomination for Best All-Girl Group Sex Scene for “Girlvana 4″, it is apparent that you are indeed the titillating trophy yourself. Wait…maybe I do have some cum left…
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